Singleness: Two Fresh Truths

This is a devotional meant for young adults seeking to become more like Jesus.  

2 Peter 1:3-4

3 His divine power has given us everything we need for a godly life through our knowledge of him who called us by his own glory and goodness. 4 Through these he has given us his very great and precious promises, so that through them you may participate in the divine nature, having escaped the corruption in the world caused by evil desires.

Singleness: Two Fresh Truths

Singleness is a topic that continues to swirl in my mind. But why? I can think of three reasons: the young adults group at MG covered it in our current study. I also returned from a well needed trip to see out-of-town friends. Out of the nine people I visited, only two were single. The last reason I can attribute my new attention toward singleness is because I found myself single right around the time of Easter.

Being single in the church is not a plague by any means but it is also not a coveted position either. Growing up, I can’t ever recall hearing anyone in any small group saying, “I cannot wait until I graduate college and remain single for the following five, ten, fifteen years!”  I’ve always recognized my inner desire for marriage. It’s taken time, however, for me to rest in God’s will and planning of how that may pan out. I gained my current perspective and peace surrounding singleness from these two truths:

1) Single is how you are, not who you are.

In a culture that puts our attributes, politics, sexuality, or even gender as our sole and whole identity, we must train ourselves, brothers and sisters, to not follow suit. It is easy to build invisible barriers that can divide us into tribes within the church e.g single or married. Being “single,” “dating,” or “married” may state a fact about how you live but that is not where our identity is drawn from. Ephesians 2:10 points out our identity as God’s handiwork, and in 2 Corinthians 5:17  as new creations in Jesus. We are more than our relationship status. Singleness, like marriage, is temporary, our identity in Christ is eternal.

2) We don’t need to wait for marriage to have a full house.

I recently picked up The Gospel Comes With a Housekey by Rosaria Butterfield to learn how to evangelize out of my own home or coffee shops. However, the Lord used the book to show me a deeper truth I didn’t know I struggled with: I do not need a spouse to grow with others out of my household. It occurred to me I was holding off on a lot of things, not because dating and marriage occupied my time, but because it filled my mental space. I have spent the last two months reimagining my dreams, to see how they could be accomplished as a single person, should it be God’s will. Simple things like offering a safe place to sleep, a warm meal, and a listening ear can be the most healing action you can offer another hurting soul. None of those means of service require a significant other. My point is that God knows the desires of our heart beyond just marriage. He designed us to operate in community regardless of our relationship status. He will honor those desires and give us opportunities when we let Him lead.

Life was not meant to be walked alone! Even the nature of our triune God reflects the goodness of community with others. Before considering marriage as the only means of intimacy, consider being plugged into the church. You might be surprised at how fulfilling a life of singleness can be.